Turning into My Mother

 I have officially turned into my mother -  an old lady wearing a tie-on rain cap. Well, the cap is very practical after all! I always promised myself that I wouldn't end up like my mother, but am beginning to see the changes....

I am okay with getting old, but have always had a deep-seated fear of getting the same dementia that she had. It began after she turned sixty-five, having retired from nursing and then my Dad died a few months later following a quadruple bypass surgery. She was never the same after that.

My Dad always drove her to work, since having a heart condition, it was one thing that he could still do for her. So once he was gone, I became her wheels. We had to move her out of her rental home and into an apartment which was thankfully close to our church, so she could walk there.

What is dementia? 

Alzheimers is the well-known disease that older adults face nowadays. It isn't surprising at all, since it gets most of the attention. Dementia on the other hand, has more "fuzzy" meanings, as it means different things to different people. The difference between the two diseases is not clear.

In my mother's case, it began with depression following the death of my beloved father in 1989. Her more prevalent symptoms were short-term memory issues, difficulty choosing words, confusion, trouble following conversations, viewing entertainment, losing sense of direction and getting lost, and trouble managing medications and finances.

Delirium is related to dementia as well. It is a condition that effects the brain, but in my mother, the symptoms were hallucinations, fear, anxiety, confusion and paranoia.

To aid my own fear of dementia, I keep my mind active with daily sudoku puzzles, reading, working part-time and keeping as active as possible. The sudoku puzzle is a a quick way to remind me that I can still use my brain to reason out the answers and it makes me feel better.

My mom always denied having anything wrong with her memory. She even accused me of being more forgetful than herself. I had to learn to not constantly correct her, effecting her self-worth. My best solution was to always change the subject to something more positive.

Next blog: My Parents Love Story

The painting is one of the first ones I did for her as a gift. She didn't care for it because it made her look old, and she kept it hidden in a drawer.